What Not to Say to Adoptive Parents…and How to Get it Right [S4E2]

What Not to Say to Adoptive Parents…and How to Get it Right [S4E2]

Have you ever been to the grocery store and seen a family that made you wonder, “What’s their story?”

Maybe the kids were a different race than the parents.

Or maybe the siblings were a mix of ethnicities.

In this episode, host April Fallon talks about her family’s experiences in public as a transracial adoptive family. She playfully shares some of the strange questions she gets and how best to address them.

Have you ever wondered how to approach an adoptive family in public? Listen to this podcast to learn WHAT NOT TO SAY in a humorous, down-to-earth way. By the end, you’ll feel confident in knowing the RIGHT things to say that help and encourage an adoptive family.


So what can you say?


Adoptive families, especially those that are also transracial families, often feel under a microscope in public. They ARE often ‘conspicious,’ making them a lightning rod for judgment.

But pause for a moment and put yourself in their shoes. If that mom is anything like most of us, she is constantly asking herself, “Am I doing a good job? Am I adding to my child’s trauma or helping them heal? Am I a good mom?”

So, if you feel compelled to talk to the family, then make what you say supportive and from the heart. Tell the parents how beautiful their family is or what a great job they are doing.

When someone says that to April’s family, everyone — and she means everyone from her two-year-old toddler to her very aware eight-year-old son — feels validated in their sense of belonging in the Fallon family.  The kids walk away feeling positive and proud of their family, as every kid should.


Are you on your own adoption journey?


Now, if you are considering adoption or are already in-process and you want to learn more, you might be dying to talk to that family. In that case, consider asking the parents if they’d like to go out to coffee sometime. This will create a time and place without kids where you can ask all your burning questions.

Many adoptive parents are happy to share their stories and lessons learned with other people on the same journey.