A BIRTH MOTHER’S GIFT [S4E14]
In this episode of ADOPTION NOW:
Birth mother Laura shares her incredible, grief-free adoption experience.
Sometimes a story comes along that makes you question the things you thought you knew about adoption. This is one of those stories. We know you’ll enjoy this inspiring and fresh perspective that proves everyone has their own story in the adoption journey.
Laura is a birth mother from California who feels passionately about sharing her incredibly positive adoption experience. After choosing open adoption over three years ago, Laura is still beaming with joy about her open adoption process and the adoptive family of her child.
To start this interview, April accentuates Laura’s position on adoption that not all birth mothers go through the same grief process.
Laura’s adoption experience was life-changing and empowering. Her story shows that adoption does not have to be a sad process, but can be completely amazing through and through.
When host April Fallon asked about Laura’s relationship with the birth father Jerome, she said they started as great friends before their engagement in their early 20’s. Shortly after, Laura became pregnant at the age of 24.
April asked Laura if they had thought about getting married and keeping the baby. Laura states it was too soon in their relationship to fully commit to another life.
“We just knew at that point in our relationship, in our life, that we wanted to give our daughter the best life possible.”
Once Laura and Jerome had decided on adoption, April wanted to know if anyone in their extended family tried to dissuade them from placing their child up for adoption. Laura states, because of Jerome’s Filipino background and their strong familial ties, the decision for adoption was a struggle. But because Laura and Jerome had given each other support and stood strong for one another in their decision, they were not swayed.
When April asked Laura how she found her adoption agency, she states it was a simple Google search. Soon Laura and Jerome would narrow down the families they found online and a few prominent characteristics stood out to them with a particular couple: this was Jen and Alan.
Laura and Jerome read through different profiles and realized that they were in alignment with Jen and Alan on so many different levels: Jen was Filipino, the couple had warm and friendly qualities, everything! They saw Jen and Alan as the “future us,” as she puts it.
Soon after, the four of them would go on what Laura describes as the ‘best first date ever’. This happened in San Francisco where Jen and Alan lived.
After agreeing to meet up with Jen and Alan, they went for a walk on the beach and visited the Golden Gate Park. It was clear to Laura and Jerome that they had found the adoptive parents!
During that walk, they all came to an agreement that Ava was to be the name of the little girl that had brought them all together. Shortly after, they agreed that open adoption would be best.
When Laura says they spent four hours together, both April and her husband exclaimed in shock! That type of connection after a first meeting is an amazing thing. As Laura said in the interview, there was no hesitation at all.
After stating that there was no hesitation, angst, or grief after placement, April stops and recognizes just how rare Laura’s adoption experience was. It is a truly remarkable story!
Later in the interview, April asked Laura about her adoption experience. She says that she was meant to have a different experience in order to show people that there are other ways to process loss.
“I personally just felt like I wanted something different. When I found out I was pregnant, I just saw something different. I got the support I needed and just stayed strong with this feeling I had that it was a gift.”
April asks her what it was like seeing her daughter for the first time, shortly after giving birth to Ava in the birth center. Laura said it was definitely a magical moment. She said she felt a lot of love in that room, in that amazing moment of life and happiness.
Laura shares that she decided to spend the first three days in the birth center with Jen, Alan, and Ava. This led to a smooth transition for everyone.
And because they chose an open adoption, Laura still sees Ava every four months! She is still such a huge part of her life and is blessed every day by her adoption decision. For more on ‘A Birth Mother’s Gift’ tune in!